Grief needs to be channeled
Hospitalization is a remarkable stressor, and for parents whose children are seriously ill it can trigger all kinds of behavior that may otherwise be dormant.
This morning alone I’ve witnessed three fathers acting out in various ways, mostly by lashing out at those who are trying to help or are completely uninvolved in their grief like the coffee steward in the commissary. seeing this mis-channeled grief served as a reminder of how important it is to learn to express ourselves. If we are grieving we can act like it: we can cry, we can yell at the clouds, we can talk to people about our feelings. There are so many healthy ways to connect with our inside selves without doing hurtful, self-destructive, and regretful things.
People have spoken a lot to us about the importance of self-care in times like these, but the truth is it’s all interrelated. I need to take care of myself for my wife and son; his and her health are my health, both physically and emotionally and that’s never been more clear to me than this week.
I took a bath this morning and it felt good, and then I let mom and Wes sleep while I came down to have coffee and write this.
Steph and Roger…I was told about this hospital stay and tests and checked out you FB page and then saw Roger’s updates. PLEASE know that my thoughts and prayers are with Wesley ,, and both of you. Sounds like you are in a great place for treatments and care. Take care of yourselves also and know that so many are wishing the best for all 3 of you. and saying prayers for all of you also.
Thank you for the blog. It is a great way to keep everyone updated without the stress of saying the same thing over and over to others. When we lost our son I used his facebook page to update everyone. It was just too difficult to talk to anyone at first.
We are so sorry little Wesley, you , Stephanie and family are dealing with this dreaded disease.
Our granddaughter works at the University of Pennsylvania’s Lymphoma department. Last year the doctor she works with had a break through for leukemia and according to my neice it has worked well with the children.
My niece works at the Boston Children’s Hospital as a Child Life Specialsts. I asked for her advice since she deals with this daily.
She figured you were at CHOP which she said is the best children’s hospital in the US so you are in very good hands. She said to contact the Child Life Specialist who can offer some respite and fun for you, Stephanie & Wesley.
Children are very resilient and brave. With your love and positive attitude Wesley has the best care.
So sorry for the journey you all are facing. Life has its hills and valleys. This
is a mountain to climb.
Your only concern is that beautiful little boy. He is lucky to have all the love that you give him. Stay strong and positive. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all.