Bitter

I’ve been increasingly bitter about the hand my sweet Wesley was dealt. His tears, pleas for no more pokes, meds, machines. My heart breaks more every time because he’s getting older and understands more every time. This is bull and I hate it and I just want to hug him and tell him it’s going to be ok without feeling like I’m lying to him. I don’t ever want to break his trust in us.

I’m so sick of him having to be so strong. I want him to be able to relax and enjoy life like a normal 3 year old.

Wes started the second half of Delayed Intensification today. Spinal tap with methotrexate chemo injected into his spine, cyclophosphamide (IV), cytarabine (subQ injection), & thioguanine (oral), and the cocktail of drugs meant to mitigate the awful side effects of each of those four chemos.

It’s infuriating to know that only 4% of federal cancer research funding goes to children. They deserve so much more than 4 fucking percent.

#wesleymorrishoward #acutelymphoblasticleukemia #pediatriccancer#kidsgetcancertoo #morethan4