Soon to be four
In late summer we shared the great news that Stephanie is pregnant again, an incredibly happy moment we’d been waiting for ever since we found out just how great this parenthood thing fits us. We live in a lovely place, in a great little town, and our lives were finally feeling like it was all in a perfect place.
A few weeks ago we found out Wes has leukemia when Stephanie was about 19 weeks along. The couple of weeks we were so entirely focused on Wesley that it was easy to forget she’s pregnant – at least for me. There’s just not much to do for a fetus at this stage, she’s over the morning sickness, and there’ve been many reasons to be distracted from the pregnancy compared with the first time 3 years ago.
It’s obviously a huge additional layer of complications, risks, logistical challenges and emotional weight right now, but it’s also a big, beautiful light ahead in a somewhat dim time in our lives, so when we are in the moment thinking and talking about Baby #2 we’ve felt nothing but joy and anticipation for another perfect little being that we get to nurture as it finds itself, another chaos monkey in our somewhat balanced home life that can only make us all stronger, and the warming thought of seeing Wes’ loving, gentle self become a big brother.
When Stephanie was pregnant with Wes, we were steadfast in not wanting to find out his sex before he was born – we saw no reason to spoil a surprise humans have enjoyed for millennia just because we could – but last week Stephanie planted the seed of a question that we both have been pondering ever since. We’ve got so many uncertainties now, so much we can’t control, that… what if we just found out?
As the thought percolated it quickly became clear that there were nothing but positives. We’d get to experience some immediate joy that we really needed as a family. It’d give this baby a kernel of detail on which we could begin to focus. There’d be at least one big question answered in our lives. And, for me, it would guarantee I’d get to be there for the reveal as it’s become clear that there’s a possibility I won’t be at the birth – for instance, if Wes is hospitalized at the time one of us would have to be with him. It was obvious we were going to do this.
Stephanie already had an ultrasound scheduled this week for a health check, but which I couldn’t attend, so we decided she’d have the nurse reveal the sex on a paper in an envelope that we could open together. That morning we had an even better idea – it was Artie’s birthday and we were going to have a small family dinner in lieu of attending his roller disco party over the weekend, so why not let him open the paper and tell us? He’d get to be the first to know – and with six year olds, being the first/only/best is always a prize.
When Stephanie got home the plans had improved even more – someone at the clinic gave her a confetti cannon coded to the sex, along with the backup envelope. When we arrived at Liberty Hall Pizza, it was thankfully quiet so we hinted about and finally asked them if it’d be OK to destroy their place with confetti and they were actually thrilled and happy to take part in the event.
The rest is history.
